


Be Alright

by NerdyHalfling



Series: Smol Naddpod Things [2]
Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breakup, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25330843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyHalfling/pseuds/NerdyHalfling
Summary: “And then you say to me you made a dumb mistakeYou start to tremble and your voice begins to break”Erlin thinks him and Bev are great at this long distance thing.A Beverlin one shot inspired by the song Be Alright by Dean Lewis.
Relationships: Erlin Kindleaf/Beverly Toegold V
Series: Smol Naddpod Things [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826578
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	Be Alright

The long distance thing was hard, but Erlin thought they were doing a good job with it. They texted regularly and would video call when their schedules allowed it. Finally, after months of heart emojis, late night texts and video calls with roommates being noisy in the background they were meeting again. Beverly was visiting him, finally. 

Erlin met him at the airport, having made one of those goofy signs and everything. He could tell it made Bev slightly uncomfortable, which checked out since neither of them were super comfortable with very public displays of affection, but after being apart for so long it felt like a very small gesture. 

Their kiss at the airport was brief, just a quick exchange because it was too much to be near each other without kissing, then they got on a bus, heading back to Erlin’s. Erlin wanted to just drag his boyfriend into his own room and cuddle, but more than that he wanted Bev to be a part of his college life. When he talked about Bev he wanted his roommates to put a face to the name, and so it took a while before they were alone. Several hours were spent hanging out with his roommates, and Bev seemed to have fun too, although he seemed kind of tired. It couldn’t be held against him though, Bev always got tired from traveling. 

Finally Erlin closed the door behind them. He exhaled and turned to Beverly, smiling. 

“So this is the room,” he said, gesturing to the small room. A mattress was made up on the floor as he didn’t want to assume Bev would want to share his small bed with him.

“It’s nice,” Bev said, looking around. 

“Thank, dude,” Erlin replied, taking Bev’s hand in his, tugging him slightly closer. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Yeah- me too.” 

Something was off, their eyes met for a brief second, just long enough for Erlin to notice the wet shine to Bev’s, then Bev looked away. His hand, Erlin noticed, was somehow both sweaty and cold and he slowly tugged it loose. 

“Bev? What’s up, dude?” Erlin’s voice was pleading. Whatever was bothering Beverly he wanted to help. 

“I- I made a mistake, Erlin.” This wasn’t an explanation of some external bad thing, it was a confession, and Erlin could vividly see how Bev had tried to act like he loved the cutesy sign at the airport, and for the first time he entertained the thought that it could be something other than an aversion to pda. He didn’t want to think like that though, this was Bev after all. 

“It’s okay, Bev. Whatever it is you’ll fix it. Is it school? Moonshine or Hardwon? Your roommates?” 

“No, Erlin,” Bev tried, meeting his eyes now. “I- ikissedsomeone, okay?” 

Silence. 

Erlin would swear for the rest of his life that he heard something shatter. 

“Erlin…” 

He knew Beverly wanted him to speak, but he couldn’t say anything. What do you say when your boyfriend admit to kissing someone else? It was too much to grasp, and he had no words for the hurt that was taking shape inside him, making every inch of his body its home. 

“It was a mistake, Erlin. It didn’t mean anything.” 

Listening was worse though. The pleading tone that made him want to say it was okay was torture. It wasn’t okay.

“I need a minute. Just, you take the bed, I need to go for a walk.”

Beverly was hurt, he could see it, but he couldn’t talk to him now, so he didn’t give him a chance to object as he turned away and left the room. He didn’t even get a jacket as he fled the dorms, needing to get out in the night air. 

He couldn’t say for sure how he thought being outside would help, but he felt just as lost and sad now. As if on auto pilot his legs moved down the street, without him making a conscious decision about where to go, just putting distance between himself and Beverly, as if that would clear his thoughts. Beverly has kissed someone else. His boyfriend had put his lips to someone else’s lips and Erlin found himself trying to imagine redeeming scenarios, as if there was any version of the story where Beverly hadn’t cheated on him. There were none of course, no matter how much Erlin wanted everything to be alright. 

He kept walking until he noticed the cool night air biting into his skin, letting him know it was too cold not to wear a jacket, The he continued until it was too cold to ignore it anymore, finally taking a turn that would lead him back. He didn’t want to go back and have to go back into the room where Bev was sleeping. Just existing in the same space as him was too much, so when he came back into the suite he shared with his roommates he grabbed a blanket and went to sleep on the couch. At some point during the night his roommate Matt came out, probably to get water, and after shushing Erlin’s apologies for taking up their shared space took it upon himself to get Erlin’s duvet and pillow. Erlin distantly heard Bev’s hushed voice saying something and Matt answering before he returned with the pillow and duvet and even tucked him in before leaving him to get some sleep. 

Morning came around too soon, and Erlin got up, folding his things together on the end of the couch, not wanting to face Bev before he had to. It worked until he was putting on his shoes to head to the dining hall, and the door to his room opened, revealing Beverly in jeans and a t-shirt.

“Good morning,” Bev tried, his voice uncertain and shaking just slightly. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Just to get breakfast, do you want to come?” As upset as he was he would be a bad host if he didn’t take Beverly along to get food. 

“Sure,” Bev said, putting on his own shoes, “can we talk?” 

Erlin sighed. He didn’t want to talk yet, but he also wanted to get it over with, and figure out what was going on. “Yeah, I guess.” 

Then it was silent. Neither of them said a word until they were seated at a corner table, eating each their plate of breakfast. 

“I’m so sorry,” Bev finally said. 

“When did it happen?” 

“Just over a month ago…” Ouch. Bev had been lying to him for over a month. “It was just one time.” 

“If it hadn’t been for me, would you have kissed them again?”

“I…” Beverly hesitated, before looking down at his plate in defeat “yeah, I guess I would.” 

“So you like them then?” 

“Maybe? I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it because I’m with you, and what we’re doing is hard, but it’s working you know?”

“I’m not sure it’s working if you’re kissing other people, dude.” 

“Erlin…” Beverly seemed to want to object, but his face fell before he could say anything else, perhaps seeing some truth in what Erlin had said. “You’re right.” 

“Yeah.”

“Can we… you know… work this out?” 

“Bev.” Erlin hates having to be the mean one, the one to reject Bev after Bev had broken his heart. “I don’t think we can.” 

“So-”

“So we’re over.” 

And they were. A quick conversation followed about how they would work out the rest of the weekend, concluding that Bev would get a room somewhere, and by that evening he was out, leaving Erlin with a space inside him he didn’t know how to fill. 

A week passed, then another. Through a series of awkward messages in the group chat they let Derlin and Cran know they were broken up, but that was the extent of their conversation. Several times Erlin found himself with his phone in his hand, going through their messages, searching for any sign he might have missed of Bev’s betrayal. The Saturday two weeks after the breakup Erlin was curled up on the couch, doing just that, when Matt showed up, sitting down beside him. 

“It’s time to stop, Erlin. You’ll drive yourself crazy like that.” 

Erlin didn’t reply, just looking from his phone to Matt. 

“It’s over, you know. Your phone isn’t going to tell you anything to change that.” 

Reluctantly Erlin put the phone down on the table, and Matt took the opportunity to pull him into a rather awkward embrace. 

“It’s gonna hurt, but you’ll do just fine, Erlin. I promise.” 

He didn’t quite believe it, but then Matt usually knew what he was talking about. 

“Alright,” he said, nodding slowly. 

“I know it’s super hard, but you chose to walk away for a reason, y’know, trust that you made the right one, and try to let him go.” 

Erlin nodded again. He didn’t know how just yet, but he’d try. 

  
  


_ And my friend said _

_ "I know you love her, but it's over, mate _

_ It doesn't matter, put the phone away _

_ It's never easy to walk away, let her go _

_ It'll be okay _


End file.
